“A Morning of Awkwardness is Better Than a Night of Loneliness”.

(A rough draft)

In this documentary, we’ll be investigating the (not so) elusive “Man Child”.

The Man Child starts life like most others; mother, father, friends. But as all his friends are released out to the wild, the Man Child realizes, he does not wish to join the others. He is hesitant to leave the comforts of the warm and loving nest he’s been
provided all his life.

Some Man Children never leave, although this is rare. Their story will end here. Yes, we will be studying the “wild” Man Child, out in the harsh streets of he world. We will see how they adapt, and how they survive.

Man Child’s are sneaky, and crafty creature by nature. They lure their prey by seeming unsuspecting, harmless, and coy. Sometimes the Man Child must wait years before he is accepted into the inner ring of trust by the unsuspecting female. But once in, he becomes a parasite, sucking and leeching of the strong female, until she is no more, then, he takes what he has learned, and moves on to his next victim.

The Man Child is much like an infant, or perhaps, a puppy. He must be constantly reassured of “good jobs” he has done. You must feed him, for he will live off a diet of ramen noodles and cheezewhiz and toast, if left unattended for any length of time. Many other thing like laundry, dishes, and driving must be done for the Man Child.

The Man Child’s favorite sleeping position is, of course, the Spoon. He is most comfortable being “little spoon”, as this makes him feel safe. Occasionally, his host may convince him to be “big spoon”, although this plan almost always backfires, as he will adapt a position akin to the way a grizzly will use his entire body to take down a small deer. This results in the host getting little to no sleep.

9 months ago  /  1 note